Now you won’t believe this one, but I’ll tell it anyway. There was a man, a roof tiler, and he was happily married to a woman called Nicole who worked part-time as a nail technician; they had three kids: Nina, Aiden and Jess. For nine years the marriage was fine, as fine as a marriage can be in a world going to hell in a handbasket, but then Steve lost his job. Nicole still had three days at the salon, so that was all right, but then she got laid off too. They started arguing, screaming, throwing things. Nicole said: I can’t do this any more Steve you’ve got to go. Steve said sure I’ll go but I’m not just going to give you the house and the kids and everything – and so began the long and painful process of unpicking the knot and dividing the spoils.
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